 The
proper clinical term is SOMNOPHILIA which means the sexual
desire to have sex with a sleeping partner, and vice versa. But
like I've mentioned before, the psych community labels sexual philias
in order to classify deviant behavior in obsessive cases requiring
treatment. For the remaining 99.9% of us this label simply is one
of many that describes a sexual preference or fantasy. The
interesting thing about sleepysex fantasies is that by nature of what
it means it remains a close cousin to necrophilia in that one person is
not aware of what's being done to them sexually. So many of the
subliminal power and control issues that seem to explain the basic
pretext for wanting to have sex with a 'dead' or sleeping person are
the same. But just as true, are the feelings and desires to
protect and guard a person who is vulnerable. But to most the
difference between necro and sleepysex is simply the state of
mind. For example, one partner may find their significant other
laying limp and vulnerable before them as erotic state of vulnerability
to which they may pleasure themselves with the idea that their lover
will awaken later to discover the intimacy. Another partner may
see that limp body laying before them as being 'dead'... imagining
making love to it one last time. It's all what we have envisioned
in our minds that stimulates our sexual desire.
 Sleepysex
seems to be a more feminine interest... not so much because more
women are into it than men, but rather it lends itself to a more
romantic approach and is certainly less violent than snuff or bondage
fantasies, and less 'macabre' or seemingly unconsentual as necro.
But interestingly it's also a relatively safe fantasy for real life
role play. There are folks who prefer pretending to be
unconscious... and there are folks who use drugs or other methods to
render themselves unconscious for their significant others, which for
the most part can be done relatively safely if common sense is
applied. For example, using those illegal street drugs, Rohypnol
or GHB, could be a very high health risk.. as it is using cholroform or
ether (although I have spoken to folks who use both these
regularly). But using alcohol (liquor) until you are drunk is a
popular method (as long as you watch out for poisoning.. and future
addiction) because it's readily available. But another method is
the taking of prescribed sleeping pills or other sleep medication
someone might have around. I have heard from couples who have
been successful in rendering themselves unconscious using various doses
of over-the-counter sleep aids as well as the popular Internet drug,
Ambien. However you and your partner decide to
use ---> |
Like any other sexual
interest (continued
after feature segment below)
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chemical inducement you need to research the dangers and risks. But smartly done it's not impossible. And above all else, keep it consentual. Now
if you prefer to keep
the fantasies as simple role play without truly making your
partner unconscious there are even safe ways to enhance the
effect. For those of you who like to envision the chlroforming
and subsequent struggle you could get into the role very easily by
dampening your rag with common rubbing alcohol; it provides a distinct
smell that should help everyone get into the role. You could
enhance your experience further by doing this in exotic locations (be
careful no one sees you)... and of course, using a video camera so that
you can view it later together.
Perhaps the single attraction to sleepysex, and even necro play, is that of having the freedom to move and position the body... especially for unique penetration positions. And for your partner, if pretending, to feel the movement of being carried and positioned. Carrying is a very erotic aspect even if the partner being carried is fully clothed. Allowing your head to be limp.. your body swaying... hair dangling... legs flopping... all has a big effect on the feeling of being vulnerable.  Why would anyone
find 'just laying there' as being sexually erotic?
To the one being 'asleep', it's all about surrendering... being vulnerable... a loss of control. To the one doing the act it could be about control or some form of domination... or just wanting to feel less inhibited. But either way, it's a joint trust.. especially to the one who really *is* put to sleep. And sometimes that in itself is a form of intimacy.. just the knowing. It can also be an erotic sensation to the person pretending to be asleep. A kind of experiencing each touch as a touch in a new area of the body... the anticipation of where the next touch, kiss, or lick might land. Or the inward control of all sensual feeling even to the point of containing the orgasm to achieve a greater orgasm. To those who really do get put under the eroticism can be awakening to find the effects of having been loved... semen in various places... a slightly sore or generously wet nipple... a taste in the mouth... it all has an effect on the senses. The bottom line with sleepysex is that it can be an enjoyable fetish and help to bring your relationship to another level of intimacy and love. It may not be headboard-banging sex... but then again, headboard-banging sex is not for everyone. |