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 The secret to great
real life role play is communication
between the partners. If you have a significant other I ALWAYS
recommend that you share your sexual feelings and desires with
them. If someone really cares and loves you then having a sexual
slant should not affect your relationship. In fact, it may even
heighten your interest in each other as now there is a way by which
your partner can make you feel happy. But always remember that
it's a two-way street; be sympathtic toward what your partner likes as
well. My wife never was too imaginative in the sex department,
but she does have some very subtle bondage interests that I didn't
object to doing from time to time in the past to make her happy.
Simply sharing your deep
dark thoughts can be very tough to
do, especially after years of supressing them and balancing
guilt. The sad part of relationships is that so often they are
founded on love and caring but the sexual aspects, such as fantasies,
are many times just left out. Even in marriage, we marry for love
but our inner most sexual thoughts we generally don't share, preferring
to hide; more often than not, because of embarrassment or thinking our
partner will leave us. The typical scenario is that we meet
someone, maybe have sex (traditional) with them... it's great, the
feelings are great.. we grow to care for each other... share our dreams
and personal hopes for the future... then we marry. After a while
(maybe years) sex in the shower and every room in the house gets
routine. One or both partners begin to look elsewhere for sexual
pleasure (not  necessarily an
affair with someone else... maybe in
magazines, the net, romance novels, etc.)... entertaining a fantasy or
two. I think you can understand where I am coming from
here. Couples who have chosen to remain celebate until their
wedding night have an even tougher time because sex itself is totally
new to the both of them. They may have fantasies but more often
than not their sexuality has not been explored or tested and since
sexual fantasies can be an evolutionary thing, having had some sexual
experience can be part of that evolutionary process. My first
sexual experience was my wedding night, as was my wife's (not out of
some religious convictions on my part... just how life worked out for
me). We never shared sex fantasies even though I had distinct
necro and sleepysex fantasies at that time. But it was
embarrassment and being unfamiliar with sex at all. (Heck, at the
age of 24 as the wedding day approached I was having questions as to
how I would manage sex anyway since for the previous 24 years of my
life I'd been 'entertaining' myself with my hand. So I was hardly
thinking about my sex fantasies at that moment.)
 So,
bottom line... SHARE with your significant others what you like
and enjoy sexually. Not simply, "I like when you lick me
down there." I mean, your deep fantasies; "I like when I'm tied
down, legs spread wide, and blindfolded, when you lick me down
there. In fact, bite me a little there... and stick your finger
inside my ass." It's all a matter of making someone you care for
happy. It's not about performance. Ugh! Sexual
performance is so extremely overrated, as are perfectly timed
orgasms. There is NO performance. There's only two people
engaged in an activity of exploring each other's sexual limits.
Eighty percent of sexual satisfaction is what you feel in your heart
for your partner anyway. The remaining twenty percent is how you
enjoy the physcial closeness. There are two kinds of sexual
activity which I call 'love' sex and 'lust' sex. If you are in or
have been in a sexually active relationship, in marriage or out of
marriage, you have more than likely experienced both. 'Love' sex
generally requires less of technique and more of simply being close...
the touching, caressing, kissing... maybe slow love-making.
'Lust' sex, on the other hand, is the stuff we do for pure sexual
pleasure... taking into consideration (hopefully) what might bring your
love-mate to ecstacy. It doesn't have to be fast sex or slow
sex... or even sex in the traditional sense at all.
Ok...
now you've reached the point you want to share. How do you
go about doing it?
A smart way is letting something in your daily life set the
conversational tone, or provide a queue. Something you heard in
the news... an event, murder, something like that. Maybe it's
something you experienced in real life (with me it was a
funeral). The TV is an outstanding source to open up a
discussion. Those real crime shows are good for starting up
discussion on sex crimes... and maybe their attraction. Not too
long ago someone wrote to me about a couple episodes of Law &
Order, I believe. One episode involved a dead hooker, who's
murdered body was apparently discovered in the possession of a homeless
guy who said he found her body in a dumpster so he figured he would
take it for sex when he wanted it. Another episode involved
a guy who role played necrophilia games with his diabetic wife.
He would inject her with an overdose of insulin to knock her out
(insulin shock).. have his way... I believe he even taped it... then
brought her back (glucose injection, I believe). During one such
play she never revived. Movies are a good source of
conversation too. "Hey, that's looks kind of kinky, dear.
Wanna try that sometime?" But remember, the goal is to
communicate and to share BOTH ways... not just tell what you like and
that's it.
One of the most frequent questions I am
asked (primarily from women) is, how do I tell my
boyfriend/spouse what I like sexually without sounding like I'm
nuts? Well, I usually respond to that in this way. Avoid
talking about it at first... avoid using catchy terms like
"necrophilia", "snuff", etc. Let your actions speak for
yourself. Here's an example... one young lady recently asked me
how she could tell her boyfriend she was into imagining she were dead,
in a casket, waiting for her significant lover to view her body and
make love to her. I suggested that she take it in
stages. The next time you get into an amourous situation
find an opportunity to let yourself go limp... one
the couch, in his arms, whatever. A good "game" is to
tell him you are kinda tired, then "fake" falling asleep. Of
course he will know you are faking it and just might get into the play
of removing your clothes and getting down. Try to stay
still and limp no matter what he does (this will be hard to do cause
the first couple times you try this you both may burst out
laughing). But when it's over, and if you sincerely enjoyed it,
then tell him it felt damn great... he was great! You never knew
how sexy that could be; you would like to try that again sometime, yada
yada yada. The idea is that what you two just experienced was not
clinically discuss first using the embarrassing terminology or labels,
but rather done as a sexual event. When you make love in the
future gradually move toward your specific interest. But trust me
on this... if your partner sincerely cares for you they will enjoy your
fantasy as much as you do cause it brings you pleasure.
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this concept.
But if you do have a basic
feeling for the fantasy you can learn to enhance your own
pleasure. Then goal is for you to close your eyes and simply
absorb the ambience of your playmate. 
Go Crazy
With Anticapation - 
Well, we all know
that a male can pretend death only so
far. Rub against his penis and he's back to life. When a
guy orgasms there's generally no such thing as laying still... thus
endeth the scenario. But there are ways to enjoy things up to
that point. Think of dead or sleepy play as a kind of foreplay
. It's very rare that a woman can orgasm 'internally', or rather
holding it in. In those cases it's usually the playmate who does
all the orgasming. But with a slight modification in your play
you can shift things a bit to allow for a 'waking up' at some point in
the scene before anyone orgasms, thus allowing the two of you to engage
in sex that allows both of you to orgasm in the process.
One girl I chatted
with went for an extra measure of realism
for her boyfriend. Before she became 'dead' she inserted a rag
into her vagina to dry it out completely. For her, and him, the
feeling was more intense. Once he would cum inside her he would
insert the small rag into her thus keeping his semen inside her, as he
proceeded on with the scene. She literally could stay motionless
for a couple hours... he would go to the store and come back, then
remove the rag and give her some more. 
