While everything mentioned thus far is relative to all types of real life meetings there are some unique concerns regarding meeting someone for sex or for exploring fetish sex.  I think we can all admit that the inherent risk in any real life meeting falls primarliy to the woman.  Men are instinctually sexual predators and women are generally sexual submissives and by nature of other natural attributes they are also vulnerable physically and sometimes emotionally.  That is not to say that a given male can't be the same way, but it's the female who typically falls into this category. 

Whether you are meeting each other for a whips & chains bondage event or just 'simple' sex the risk of the unknown regarding your chat partner can pose a fair risk.  I think for the most part there's minimal risk of loosing your life (although in rare instances it has happened, usually the result of sex play gone bad) but certainly the risk can be well above the norm in having a disappointing to downright terrorizing sexual meeting that could result in some physical harm or abuse far beyond your expectations.  It's understandable that much of the sexual turn-on is, in fact, the risk in meeting a relative stranger simply for sex, but you don't want to be harmed in pursuit of that ultimate orgasm either.

Other than using the tips already given the only other common sense process in meeting someone for a sexual romp is to make sure you both have fully expressed yourselves to each other sexually.  Make sure you have done the best you can in assuring yourself that your partner does indeed have the same sexual interests you desire as well.  Perhaps engage in cyber-sex, phone sex, or chat room role play over time to make sure that there's some consistancy in your partner's 'play' habits.  If there's occassional deviations or subtle switching to a different theme then you may want to reconsider.  Remember, in meeting under these sexual conditions you are giving consent to being together sexually.  What may result after the fact that you didn't bargain for you may not have legal recourse... or certainly have a more difficult time in getting it.

If you're a woman a good strategy is to park somewhere away from the windows of the restaurant or building you are meeting in, in order to reduce the risk of your partner getting your vehicle license number and discription.  Also, it's good to tell a friend in advance who you are meeting and where.  If that's too embarrassing then have a friend call you on your cell phone at a predetermined time, like 30 minutes, into your meeting.  You could even go so far as to set up a prearranged code or 'duress' word that tells who's calling if you are ok or in harm's way.  While the cell phone call might serve to interrupt your meeting slightly at least your partner is aware that someone else... is aware.  Before you hang up from your friend tell them you'll check back with them in a couple hours.. and make sure your meeting partner hear's it.

If the initial meeting turns sour and you decide not to continue it leave the public place first... make sure he doesn't follow you out the door and to your car.  Maybe make your cell phone call to a friend as you are leaving to let them know where you are headed.

We all know that Internet chat communities are great places to be ourselves or to be someone completely different; living out a fantasy of someone we might like to be that we might fear acting out in real life either because it's illegal or as simple as being because our nature doesn't condone it.  In most cases this kind of activity is harmless.. an acknowledged back-and-forth game of seduction, teasing, and enticement in an environment of anonymity that brings security to all parties.  After all, you can go as far as you want and there's always the off switch on your PC.

Now typically we can probably accept all that as life on the net and perhaps many of you even reading this has toyed with being an alter-ego in a chat room at one time or another.  But the caveat is to be wary of those who would carry this misrepresentation as a basis for meeting in real life.  While it's not likely someone who you have been chatting and getting to know for a number of months will get to the point of meeting you and you discover their gender is all wrong, the risk is still there.. especially when it comes to getting your feelings hurt when you discover the fraud just before you plan to meet. 

For example, on two different occassions I have been duped by heavyset women who misrepresented themselves to me through pics and chat references as being much slimmer and attractive.  While it's one thing to fantasize and play it's another thing altogether to willfully deceive to engage your emotional committment.  In both these cases the women were quite obviously emotionally stressed over their own image that they felt their only way to get attention was to develop a relationship using fake pics.  Now, while I would agree in the 'Shallow Hal' theory that people are far more than how they might look the tragedy with both these women is that over the months of our chatting they encouraged responses from me on their appearence as represented from those fake pics.  In my case, I do not hide my particular physical preference for slimmer women (I even mention it on my site).  So the sad part is that I was unknowingly part of feeding their self-image distress each time I expressed appreciation for their attractiveness or when we engaged in sexual chatter.  In both cases the women 'confessed' their true appearence when it became apparent that the relationship was getting to the point of a real life meeting. The sad part is when I ended up rejecting them it had little to do with their true heavy appearence but rather the fact that I had been an unknowing contributer to their suffering during our chats, and the fact the relationship thus far was being started on a lie and falsehood.  In these cases a phone call revealed little to their real appearence but in both instances the women were reluctant to provide more than the initial pics they had sent me... thus cauisng some slight wonderment.  So while I had my emotions torn with dissappointment it was limited only to the cyber-relationships and never made real-life.

Let's presume for the moment that you've done all your homework as outlined above and that there is no question about meeting this person.  All your information 'ducks' are in order about this person and everything feels right.  But you are also thinking of having sex with this person.. after all, that's probably part of what brought you together on the net anyway.  Presumably you've already discussed this option with your cyber-partner.  This falls into the areas outlined above in developing dialog and getting enough information and feeling exchanged between the two of you so that you both are tuned into exactly what the other wants or expects from a real life meeting.  This two way communication should also include the dimension you wish to take regarding 'safe sex'.

We all pretty much accept that 'safe sex' can mean either pregnancy protection and/or protection from disease.  But only the two of you can decide for yourselves what risks you wish to take.  Obviously the whole thing comes down to trusting the other person on the information they give you.  But I think for most of us the real issue is about, do you use a condom between you or not.  Condomizing is the only sure way of avoiding any sexual risk but it also lacks in some very significant areas, like a loss of spontenaity as well as a significant loss of feeling to both partners.  You've both have chatted about this.  Perhaps your partner is on birth control or has had a vasectomy.  That would sure take care of the pregnancy protection part but you really only have your partner's word on that.  And what about disease?  How do you trust someone when they say they are disease-free (they may truly not know themselves, especially if they've been sexually active with random partners ).

Well, in real life relationships there's the obvious development and nurturing trust between two people over time.  Generally people learn about each other and can share their respective lives on multiple levels in real time and that helps to foster trust and some level of assurance that your partner is who they say they are regarding their sexual activities and partners and sexual practices.  Meeting for the first time from the Internet and deciding on having sex that first time does take a unique measure of risk because of the lack of real life relationship time that tends to foster trust.  In the end, even between two married people, engaging in unprotected sex has risk that's minimized soley on trust.  In the end only YOU can determine the amount of risk you wish to take.  That's why it is important to know anything and everything about your partner.. not only for your immediate physical safety but also for your medical health as well.

Here's a couple tips regrading the risks.  But remember, even in a marriage of total trust between two people there is still a personal risk to both parties in having unprotected sex.

- Did your partner really have a vasectomy?
One way to check is to physically inspect under each scrotum for the matching incision scars.  You can do this casually as being part of intimate touching.  BUT... while the scars may be telltale signs of a vasectomy it does not guarantee that your partner may not have gotten a vasectomy reversal.  Reversals are not all that common to be sure.. but they can be done.  Typical reasons for reversing might be... the guy had a recent divorce and he expects to marry again and desire children... or, in some cases, the emotional toll in having a vasectomy can affect sexual performance so it might be reversed to feel verile again and re-gain sexuality... or, it might be reversed for perceived medical reasons (I say 'preceived' because to date there is no known medical drawbacks to having a vasectomy).  The only sure way is to bring a microscope with you and have him masturbate onto a slide and you take a look-see.. presumming you are experienced enough to know what you are looking at.

-Does your partner take oral birth control?
Other than a blood test, which is not likely to be done in a motel room, there is NO way to know for sure if she is on the pill or not.. or even if she's been faithful taking the pills on time and as prescribed.  While there might be a natural desire on the part of a woman to control pregnancy for the obvious reasons this does not guarantee she is doing it correctly.