Well, if you've read the other sections on my site you will see how I've tried to explain the overall perspective of accepting who you are and your sexual feelings by relating them to human sexuality in general using evolution and a bit of anthropological scientific theory.  I think for the most part we can apply that concept here as well.   Over the years I have connected with more than a few folks via my site who have some concerns over their necrophilic and/or snuff fantasies when there's been a real life death that affects them, ie., a family member, a friend, or a national tragedy.  What happens is that these folks begin to question their moral and human compassion attitudes regarding their sexual interest in death when it can happen so close to home or be a tragic event.  I have two examples of this.

Not too long ago I received an email from a woman who always had some sexual affinity of sex and death.  She would occassionally role play being dead for her significant other and they sometimes engaged in simulated snuff play.  One day her sister died in an auto accident.  This kind of short circuited her necro feelings because she had trouble separating her necro fantasies from the reality about her sis.  In other words, she was playing and enjoying an aspect of death and with her sister's passing there was nothing enjoyable about it for her sister.  In other words, she was grieving.
Here's another example.

I often contribute to one of the necro/snuff message boards on the net.  The board itself is a mix of discussion, fictional stories, and general news about necrophilia and snuff fantasies, with some politics tossed in for good measure.  On 9/11 something interesting occurred.  As the story was unfolding on the news about the terrorist attacks during the day, and for some days afterwards, there was a sudden decline in the posts on the board.  Surely some of that could be attributed to people watching the TV... but as the days progressed the few posts began to take on a different mood.  People we talking about their feeling guilty for enjoying death as a sexual thing at the same time watching people jump to their deaths on TV... which was not enjoyable and very real.
Let's explore these two examples.

First off, as we know from earlier sections on this site, having an interest in death, even to the point of certain aspects of it taking on a sexual meaning, is very human to be sure.  No one knows what death is like because as yet no one has come back to tell us.  It remains one of those mysteries of being human, and as we know, anything human can become sexual.  That's one reason why sites like orgish.com and rotten.com are so popular.  It's partly the idea that if you see a mangled body we are awed by how mangled a body can truly get.  It's a subliminal, "Gee, it surely sucks to be you." as we take a deep breath and also wonder, "There, but for the grace of God....".  Yet some people do indeed find such images erotic in spite of their compassion for their fellow man.

The woman above who was grieving over the death of her sis and at the same time feeling guilty for her sexual enjoyment in playing dead is experiencing a perfectly normal set of feelings of criss-crossing contrasts.  I recommended to her at the time that she take her time grieving for her loss and focus on that first.  It's important that she proceed through that process and to try and reconcile some level of 'acceptance' (vs 'closure', which sometimes never happens) with her sis's passing and to mourn with her loved ones.  The second thing I recommended was for her to understand her sis's death as it might relate to her belief system.  In other words, if she is a religious person then she should make sure she finds some solace within her faith regarding her sis's death.  Once a measure of time has passed and those acceptance levels have been reached, then she should then explore how it all fits, if at all, into her erotic fantasies regarding herself.  Generally speaking, by that time it becomes a little easier to once again accept your sexual being.  But.. be aware, as I have pointed out many times, our sexual fantasies are forever evolving through life.  Her sis's death may indeed be a catalyst for yet another change in sexual fantasy interests.  Hence, you take it all very slow.. and if you have a significant other it is MOST important that you communicate with them how you feel at all times.

Regarding tragic events like 9/11... just as we are overcome with feelings of intense loss when a loved one dies, we are only human to find sadness and grief when others perish in significant tragic events like major plane crashes, natural disasters (like the recent tsunami in Asia), the school shooting in Russia, and other events with great losses of life.  Especially when we can identify in some ways with the victims and/or their relatives.  Many times it's just regular people like us going about their daily lives and suddenly they are in the wrong place at the wrong time.  But these are all normal and emotionally healthy feelings, and if these feelings are mixed with feelings of sexual thoughts then that's normal too.  It doesn't mean you are any less sensitive a human being.  How many of us were disappointed with not getting to see on TV all those jumpers actually smacking into the ground?  Does that mean we are insensitive jerks?  Of course not.   Death, and seeing others experience it, is a natural human curiosity.  That fact that we might find it erotic is generally a separate feeling althogether.  It's rather like saying, "I am so sad and grief-stricken that you died and I'd never wish that on anyone... but since you did die, pardon my erection."

Let me cite myself as another example.  In the earlier days of our marriage my wife seemed to notice that I wanted sex after a wake or a funeral.  I wasn't even aware of that until years later when we fessed up about our sexual desires and I shared a bit about my necro slant and she made that observation.  Even after my own mother's wake and funeral... I wanted sex.  No, never in my entire life did I have sexual desires on my mother so that had nothing to do with my desire.  Nor when the occassional males died, my father, uncles, friends, etc., did I ever think of them sexually before or after they died.  But it was a cross between having been in a death environment and the fact I was releasing a margin of personal emotional stress, subliminal as it might be.  The quality of sex was, I'm sure, very marginal to my wife at those times since they weren't any of those long and involved foreplay and cuddling sessions.  Along the same line, I mention elsewhere on this site that I typically mourn the untimely demise of any young woman and yet I want to make love to them after their demise in order to convey my sympathy, express my love for their departure, worship their physical form one last time, and leave my essence within them to protect them and keep them from being lonely.  Sure, much of that might sound like some vague spiritual mumbo-jumbo but it IS what I feel inside as part of my fantasy.

Regarding disasters, here's a recent feeling I had regarding the Asian tsunami disaster.  Like many other people, I went to the 'gross' sites to check out the pics of victims pulled from the debris and I found myself more saddened with the dead who could still be recognized.  But there was a partiuclarly sad, yet erotic (for me) video footage taken by one of the many tourists.  It only got coverage on CNN once and I failed to to tape it nor have I seen it elsewhere.  During a segment where CNN was reporting bodies being/having been robbed of jewlery and other personal possessions still attached to them they showed footage taken by said tourist from a balcony during a period after most of the water had receeded.  It showed two males lifting from the shallow water they were wading in the body of what appears to be a younger female... in a kind of red dress, which wet highlighted her relatively trim form and shapely breasts. Anyway, these two guys were having apparently an argument over this dead body, or whatever was on it.  They lifted her limp form a couple times.. arms, legs, and head flopping about; one sort of pulling it from the other guy, then it dropped back into the shallow water... only to have the other guy pull it up by one of her limp arms... then one proceeded to flop her face down on a porch where she was hanging over the edge at the waist as if getting ready to have sex with her from behind (which sex was not the goal here).  I mean, of course I felt sad she had died this way.. but that whole scene was extremely erotic to me.  Anyway.. by my own example you can see how real death and real tragedy can cross over with sexual fantasy... yet if one can maintain focus and accept their own feelings as they come along as being perfectly human then  one should be able to include human sensitivity AND erotic thoughts without feeling guilty.